The Fastest Way to Lose Weight

Posted by Mr. Guy July - 23 - 2009 - Thursday

This is going to be short and brief. It comes from firsthand experience, so I know it works, because it worked for me! Not asking you to buy anything, subscribe to anything, just listen up.

If you want to drop weight fast, adjust your acid/alkaline levels. Basically, our crappy American diets consist of far too many acidic foods and not enough alkaline foods.


“When your body notices that the blood has become too acidic and there are no longer any alkaline reserves, it quickly makes the decision to alleviate this dangerous situation. One of the first things your body does to alkalize the blood is remove acid from within the blood stream, storing it in your fat cells.” source


I dropped 15 pounds in two months after I made the adjustment, and my hoop game hasn’t been better in years!

And it’s easy to do. Just go to this chart, print it out, and take highlighters to it. Red, for the acidic foods you eat, and, any other color (your choice) for the alkaline foods you can ADD TO your game.

Start raising the bar on alkaline, and lowering the bar on acidic. It’s really that simple.

Here were my main adjustments:

Coffee: I eliminated entirely. Yikes, you say. But not really, I haven’t missed it much, tea stands in fine when I need it in the name of routine. And, if you have a sensitive disposition, eliminating coffee will feel like being stuck with a continual Xanax drip: mellow!

Soda: This is the stuff that kills your ass. Stop it! Now! It has absolutely no positive effect on your body, it’s poison, clear and simple. F*ck you Coke.

Chocolate: OMG! Not f-ing chocolate! Yes, f-ing chocolate. Total acidic. I added healthier desserts.

Pasta: I cut out my five-times-a-week pasta intake, down to about 2 or 3.

Bread: This was the hard one for me, as I like to have bread with almost every dinner. No mas. Maybe every other.

Dairy: Cut it down as much as possible, have avocado on your sandwich instead of cheese, etc.

Vegetables: Mother always told you to eat them even if she didn’t know why she was telling you. Just trust her, even if she doesn’t trust herself.

Fruits: I now keep a watermelon (MVA: Most Valuable Akaline food!) handy, and have a couple slices every day. I also make sure I eat: a banana, apple, strawberries, daily!

Fast food: Fastest way of killing yourself. Really. It is. Pay a little more for your meals and you’ll be investing in a longer life. Are you worth it?

Slow down: You’re eating too fast, you have to let the digestion pass…And don’t you even think about going back for seconds.

How will you be able to tell the adjustment is working?

Answer: You’ll notice your defecation habits changing pretty soon after you start the process. No more oily, squeezing-em-out turds.

Sorry to give you that visual, but you’ll thank me later. Just, please, no pictures of the improved turds. A simple “thank you, Kip Guy” will do.


Recommended reading: Value of a Veggie Burrito

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Posted by Mr. Guy July - 23 - 2009 - Thursday

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