Only one fan awaits them in the locker room.

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1. Sam Presti, Oklahoma Thunder: Executive of Year

Who would have ever thunk Presti could make us forget the Sonics in such a short time. Seattle grungers must be seething, one more reason to gaze at their shoes.

2. Brook Lopez and Chris Douglas-Roberts: Dynamic Underground Duo of Year

Sure, they’re practically six feet under ground, but they’re still scoring! This is a future “silver lining” for Jersey (IF there is such a thing). BTW, what is Lawrence Frank still doing at the board? Chemistry class was canceled, dude!

3. Paul Westphal, Sacramento Kings: Extreme NBA Makeover Award

If Arnold could have worked this quickly in the capital of Colliefornia? (Well, he might be able to pronounce “Colliefornia” by now.)

4. Houston Rockets: Scrappiest Bunch in the League

Yao and McGrady’s injuries a blessing in disguise for the future of the franchise? What happens with T-Mac in the mix? Does Scrappy Doo Aaron Brooks still have the “Lemme at ‘em! I’ll splat ‘em!” attitude? Or will he have to take a back seat to Scoob Mac?

5. Ron Artest, Los Angeles Lakers: The Quiet Man

Role player extraordinaire, quietly going about his business, a true professional work ethic in action. Can it last? As long as the Lakers are successful it can. And you just know Ron-Ron is going to be making an appearance on next year’s Entourage, especially if the Lakers win the championship. Victory!

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New Yorkers need someone to dump their scorn on. (God knows they don’t want to ruffle Big Baby D’Antoni’s feathers.) “Let’s get A.I.!” Perfect distraction. Perfect scapegoat.

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