Khloe Kardashian: For Love or the Ringside Seats?

Posted by Mr. Guy September - 25 - 2009 - Friday 1 COMMENT


Dr. Dre wonders if a swap is possible.


Dr. Dre has a lot of money.


Carrot Top has feelings of insecurity.


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Top 10 Sports Interviews

Posted by Mr. Guy August - 10 - 2009 - Monday 1 COMMENT

A quick rundown on my favorite subjects. Click on their name to read article. Drumroll, please.

10. Eric Gagne

Original Magazine: Men’s Edge

Setting: Dodger Stadium. Dugout. Opening week 2004.

Liked: Getting into a discussion of “The Zone” with Gagne, and him telling me under his breath not to start the interview until his teammates cleared our vicinity. He was afraid they would give him shit for being interviewed, yet again.

Quote: “Wait’ll these fuckers pass.” Me: “You mean, those fuckers right there?”

9. Anthony Carter

Original Magazine: ESPN Magazine

Setting: Staples Center. 2007-2008 Season

Liked: His humbleness. Admitted the reason he was forced to play in Italy in the beginning of the 2007 season was because he partied too much. Also liked his candor about how he needed to stop drinking in order to truly focus on his job. Note to Melo.

Quote: “Anyone who said they expected this of him is crazy.” George Karl on Carter’s play with Nuggets.

P.S. Article never got published because the editor was worried that I made up my comments about Carter’s option of selling drugs and robbing people or playing ball in A.C.’s hometown of ATL. Like most editors, overworked and unwilling to go the extra inch.

8. Derek Lowe

Original Magazine: Men’s Edge

Setting: Telephone interview.

Liked: How D. Lowe wasn’t afraid to mix it up with a few nicely placed curse words and impressions.

Quote: “This generation of players is completely different. They understand kind of what happened before. But I think the majority of players don’t really care.”

P.S. Later ran into him at a Laker game
and tried to introduce myself but he was totally faced and surrounded by women grabbing for his loins. I decided not to compete with them in the Loin Grab Comp.

7. Randy Couture

Original Magazine: Men’s Edge

Setting: Telephone interview.

Liked: Really personable guy for being such an ass-kicker. Taught me how to ruin someone in a street fight with elbows and knees — oh my!

Quote: “Everybody picks on the seventh graders. This ninth grade kid decided I was the guy he was gonna pick on and he started harassing me at lunch hour. I hit him with a double-egg and put him on the ground and punched him in the face about five times. Nobody ever really picked on me after that.”

P.S. If you haven’t seen his performance in Red Belt, you definitely should, great fight movie. Get it here:


6. Lamar Odom

Original Magazine: ESPN

Setting: Lakers’ practice facility in El Segundo.

Liked: Having to maneuver my recorder from one side to the other as L.O. got his beard trimmed in a back room by one of his posse members. Felt good to finally get L.O. and his posse members to crack a smile with my Kobe Bryant impression. I asked Lamar what Kobe said to him when he raised his jersey over his mouth: “Hey Lamar! Pass me the fucking ball, man!”

Quote: On why it’s good to have Kobe as a teammate: “The open looks that I get. You know, he demands so much attention. We get a bunch of television games. You know what I’m saying? That’s because of him. You could feed off the energy. When we walk into a game, he has a great following. So his followers becomes your followers.”

P.S. Once again, nixed by ESPN Magazine. However, later an excerpt appeared on the ESPN Magazine blog.

5. Elton Brand

Original Magazine: ESPN, Los Angeles Magazine, L.A. Times

Setting: Santa Barbara, Los Angeles

Liked: That I was interviewing “The Horse” at the old city college where I had dropped out of my first, and only, journalism class after one week. The teacher was a prick. He locked the door at 8 sharp. My hangovers hadn’t cleared up by that time. Also liked how available EB was when I was the Clipper Blogger for the L.A. Times. (Got fired b/c the Times’ Weasel NBA Editor wanted to be my best friend and I refused his lonely-ass advances and he made up some shit about how my speling and grammer sucked.)

Quote: “Kaman has the biggest entourage on the team. He has five friends that are down with him, in his crib.”

P.S. Elton later asked me if I wanted to run his film company. Had a bunch of meetings and emails with him. Ended when I told him politely that the idea he wanted me to turn into an award-winning screenplay was just not going to happen. It was THAT bad. And I was THAT close to being a full-fledged posse member. Aw, shucks, ma!

4. Luke Walton

Original Magazine: Some forgettable named assholian magazine that still hasn’t paid me. You’re on notice, pal!

Setting: Telephone interview.

Liked: Walton needed hardly any prompting at all. Took the rock and ran with it up and down the court with glee. When I was at Laker camp later in the year, remembered who I was — and didn’t have any women grabbing for his loins.

Quote: “My dad can walk through a garden and name out every single plant. The first thing he does every morning is a walk off his yard. He checks out all the plants and yells at the gardeners.”

P.S. Work on your J, Luke!

3. Barry Zito

Original Magazine: Men’s Edge

Setting: Telephone interview.

Liked: Going all Self-Help with Mr. Zito. Should be an example to all athletes. Unfortunately, he’s not. Read any books lately Manny?

Quote: “It taught me the power of the mind, and how powerful words and thoughts can be. Everywhere we go, people tell us how hard life is and how we have to struggle. It’s up to you if you want to focus on that.”

P.S. Also once wrote a piece on Barry going on surf trips with Brent Mayne & Ryan Klesko (the worst interviewee ever).

2. Brett Favre

Original Magazine: Heartland USA

Setting: Telephone interview. Fahvera on the Farm.

Liked: That Favre wasn’t doing any lengthy interviews at the time and I got 45 minutes. How he just took charge of the entire interview/huddle and just spilled his guts. Having my ESPN Mag editor telling me he wished I’d done it for them. Well, duh!

Quote: On the possibility of Something About Mary 2, “I hope they don’t call me.”

P.S. This interview was stretched out over the years and enabled me to buy many, many Cup O’ Noodles. (This version is just a small excerpt.)

1. Gerry Lopez

Original Magazine: Water

Setting: Phone interview.

Liked: Speaking to one of my few teenage-years heroes, as I idolized his smooth, soulful surfing style while growing up on the California sand.

Quote: “It’s always easier to ride the horse (or wave) in the direction it’s going.”

P.S. A freelancer’s bread and butter is being able to resell his article (sometimes in different forms) after a certain grace period with the original magazine. When it came time to do that with this article, Lopez, through his contact, said he wanted half the money for the next magazine. Suddenly my hero wasn’t my hero any longer. Sucks to grow up!

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Straight Up with Lamar Odom

Posted by Mr. Guy July - 14 - 2009 - Tuesday ADD COMMENTS

Ray Guy caught up with Lamar Odom at a Laker practice, after Ray was kicked off the court by the Laker’s PR girl. He claims he sunk about 73% of his shots before that. BTW, Do layups count?


TGR: What’s the greatest challenge being a Laker?


LO: Triangle offense. It’s a real intricate offense. It has a lot of substance to it. There’s no play. We don’t call plays.


TGR: Just flow.



LO: Yeah, and every pass can lead to a different option. And can almost lead to a different set. So with every pass I make I can do something different. Some games you might get twenty shots and in an offensive games you might get nine shots.


TGR: So, it looks confined, but it’s really freeing you up once you learn it?


LO: Definitely. It looks confined. But what I like about it is that everybody can play, every position is equal. Like you don’t have to be a center. You can push a point-guard with a center. Push a center with a point-guard play. Everyone is interchangeable. I think that it’s a pass first offense. There’s just a lot to learn, it’s real deep.


TGR: Is it frustrating to you?


LO: Not really. I don’t let not scoring, or not taking a lot of shots frustrate me. As far as my basketball game is concerned, I’m a basketball player, not a scorer, you know. I try to play the whole game. I think it’s just going to make me a better player in the long run. As far as IQ. If you can learn this offense you can play for anybody.


TGR Do you get sick of the whole drama-watch, the soap opera crap that goes on with the Lakers?


LO: That’s only if you really pay attention to it. You got to understand where you’re at, in the market, as far as media coverage is concerned. You can figure it’s also a blessing. I mean, if you play for the Lakers everyone in Japan probably knows you. Your game is probably on in Europe. We get local coverage, national coverage, a lot of coverage. You got to understand the market you’re in. It’s just one of those things.


TGR: What is the difference between putting on a Lakers’ jersey, or putting on a Clippers’ jersey or a Heat jersey or a Rhode Island jersey? Is there a mystique that you feel about it?


LO: There’s definitely a difference. The Lakers got fourteen championships altogether. So, you know how Boston is always good, and yet there’s a difference between the Red Sox and the Yankees. To me the Lakers are like the Yankees of basketball.


TGR: But with a nicer owner.


LO: Yeah, with a really cool owner. Great fan support. The only difference is when you go away, you go to a lot of places, and you see a lot of purple and gold in the crowd. Just like the Yankees. When they go and play in Anaheim, you can see those pinstripes in the crowd. I say it’s really good, because they’ve had a great tradition for a long time.


TGR: What’s the best thing about being Kobe Bryant’s teammate?


LO: The open looks that I get. You know, he demands so much attention.
We get a bunch of television games. You know what I’m saying? That’s because of him. You could feed off the energy. When we walk into a game, he has a great following. So his followers becomes your followers.


TGR: Has Coach brought any unorthodox methods to the table recently?


LO: We meditated one time, that was really different. He talked us through it. I never did that before. One thing I’ve learned in my seven years: is the mind can take you places where the body can’t. And then take your body with it, because that’s how strong it is.


TGR: So, after you meditated, what was the feeling?


LO: It was like a laid back type of thing. And after that we had practice. We really had a good practice. So I imagine we’ll probably do more of that.


TGR: Any other interesting things he’s doing with you?


LO: You know, everybody’s approach is different. He doesn’t yell a lot. People might think he might yell. He’s real laid back. Easy going. But he definitely gets his point across.


TGR: However he has to, right?


LO: Yup. He’s sarcastic. He’s really sarcastic. He picks on the rookies the most.


TGR: What would he be if he wasn’t a coach?


LO: He’d probably have his own talk show, like, what’s my man’s name…Bill Maher. I can see him being like that, having a talk show like that. He knows a little about everything, he’s really smart and intelligent dude.


TGR: You said there’s an extra advantage of putting on a Laker jersey, but is there also, with that Laker cape, an added pressure? Different than say, Miami or a Clipper.


LO: There’s pressure being a Yankee, right? I think pressure is what we thrive on, people that really love to compete.


TGR: What former Laker commands the most respect?


LO: Magic. But, you know, I’m from New York so Kareem is obviously the best center of all time. He scored the most points in basketball history. I don’t know if anybody is ever gonna catch him. LeBron has a chance because he’s so young. But he’s got a lot of scoring to do. But it’s great having Kareem around. Telling you the things that he sees.


TGR: What has he taught you specifically?


LO: You got to be patient. He tells me, all the time, it’s not about scoring. You know, this team just needs somebody to lead them. I just try to stay focused and keep my poise on the court so I can help lead the guys. With Magic, same thing. He’s always around. He has a lot of experience. Especially with me handling the ball, he’s pulling me to the side telling me things I should do running the break, try to get everybody involved.


TGR: What’s the Lakers greatest fear?


LO: Simple: losing, man. Some teams, if they just make the playoffs, they get a pat on the back, saying: “you gonna get ‘em next time.


TGR: Are the Lakers still the world’s favorite team?


LO: I would say it’s a race between the Lakers and the Yankees. The Yankees might be one up, because if you go to Italy and try to get a baseball cap, the Yankee cap is like everywhere. It’s part of fashion. The Lakers are right there, the Cowboys.


TGR: So the Lakers have to get back on top?


LO: Yeah. I mean, winning is important. You need to win to be successful on the court. And everything follows along with it.

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