Lingerie Bowl Hottie Of The Week 2

Posted by Mr. Guy July - 20 - 2009 - Monday ADD COMMENTS

Dudes,

She’s 20-years-old, she likes to hit hard and her favorite color is black n’ blue. Oh, what we wouldn’t give to be her tackling dummy. Did we mention her favorite team is the Dallas Cowboys.


“Let’s see Jessica Simpson throw like this.”

What’s your signature play? Major D, baby. Anyone who gets in my way, will be taken out!

Turn-ons? Lean and Cut, humorous, and romantic.

Turn-offs? Bad sense of style, conceited, insecure.

Favorite pet? Horse, and believe me, I RIDE good and hard ;)

Vodka or Tequila? TEQUILA…straight shots, no chaser.


“You don’t think I can get a little dirty?”

Anything that confuses you about guys? They can see a girl they know on the cover of a magazine half naked and that’s hot! But if it’s their girlfriend getting the attention, it’s NOT!


“FYI: Beware boyfriends, have bod, will model.”

Pet peeves about guys? Overprotective, jealous.

Fav thing about guys? Built shaped arms, colored eyes, nice smile.

Least fav thing about guys? Beer bellies: Get OUT!!

Do you like a guy to kiss you on the first date? Only if I’m into him and in a hot or romantic way…don’t rush me for a kiss!


“You want some of these lips? Can you handle these lips??”

You know the moment you see a man if you’re attracted, don’t you? Of course, but the first thing that comes out of his mouth could ruin it all!

Are guys vocal enough about their needs in bed? Not usually.

Do they attend to your needs adequately? Only one has.


“Step up to the plate, slugger.”

What could they improve on? Be more creative, don’t be afraid to try new things, read up if you have to…lol.

How do you ultimately want to be treated by a guy? Like a queen!! That’s the way every girl should be treated…spoiled, treated, and pleasured ;)

If they did a movie of your life, who would play you? Cameron Diaz, she doesn’t look anything like me, but she reminds me of me.


“But I’m probably a little hotter.”

*

Riley in Lingerie Party Video 1
Riley in Lingerie Party Video 2
Riley’s Space
Lingerie Hottie of the Week 1
Lingerie Hottie of the Week 3

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Miss Depression 2009

Posted by Mr. Guy July - 20 - 2009 - Monday ADD COMMENTS

Economy getting you down? Tell us about it. But what better way to forget about our troubles for a few minutes than to look at our contestants for Miss Depression 2009? “Nice!”

Is modeling the “emaciated camel-toe” look. She likes Paxil, the thought of murdering her father and smudge-free tighty-whities.

Is modeling the frumpy “why the f*ck are you making me walk this catwalk” look. She likes sharp bangs, being banged by bikers and small floods in the south of London.

Is modeling the “dead beaver on the head” look. She likes Gumby, stilts and an occasional rice cake or two.

Is modeling the “angry feminazi” look. She likes things that go frilly in the night, androgynous pets and Prince.

Is modeling the “oops, I just fell down, this job is harder than I thought” look. She likes running shoes, Pisces and embarrassing photos that make her look like an ass.

Is modeling the “patterns-disguised-as-art in a SoHo gallery” look. She likes biting the heads off small penises, Prozac and Elliot Smith.

Is modeling the “early pregnancy test kit in a purse” look. She likes men who don’t knock her up, her hairstylist Jevan and musician Pink.

Is modeling the “white theme party” look. She likes seeing out of one eye, pop tarts and men who don’t fart in bed.

Is modeling the “BBW Goddess” look. She likes queening, Queen and flour as an all-purpose aphrodisiac.

Is modeling the “Western African diet” look. She likes magic pendants, the TV show Bones and 24/7 total f*cking depression.

P.S. Yes, “her vagine hang like a sleeve of wizard.”

Why not join our Twitter feed?

*

Recommended viewing: Our Girl Page

 
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Luke Walton 101

Posted by Mr. Guy July - 15 - 2009 - Wednesday ADD COMMENTS

lukewalton_mainLuke Walton lets us in on seven topics close to his heart. Note: DO NOT cue violins or the Lifetime Network. This is basketball, homies!

HIS DAD:

He’s a freak about plants. My dad can walk through a garden and name out every single plant. The first thing he does every morning is a walk off his yard. He checks out all the plants and yells at the gardeners.

HIS BROTHERS:

Our basketball games ended up in a fight every day. I was about to square off with Nate once, and my best friend David caught my arms, trying to break it up, and Nate karate-kicked me in the wrist. My whole wrist was, like, hanging there, broken, and I’m crying and stuff…And they’re doing work around the house, so there’s a wood saw on the corner of the basketball court. Nate starts trying to grind my head against it. Luckily it wasn’t plugged in.

HIS SURFING:

I surf, but not during the season. I can get up and go straight. I got a huge board. So I kind of just start yelling, if there’s other people on the wave: ‘Either get out of the way, or we’re going to crash’.

A lot of my friends surf, so I’ll go out with them and they’ll clear a wave for me. They’re my boys. They get on both sides of me and they’ll take off. And I’ll be fine, I’ll just go straight. Otherwise, I’m gonna crash into someone and it’s not going to be pretty.

HIS MOB CONNECTIONS:

When I was a rookie, we had an actual ‘Movie Mob’. D. Fish was the head of it, and Devean George was the CEO. Me and Cookie were the interns. We had to always go check the movie times and we’d get to the theater first and buy the tickets.

Now, Cookie (until he was shipped out) and I are the owners and Jordan Farmar’s our intern. We got a little group of us that goes: B-Cook, Ronny Turiaf and Farmar. It’s a good way to go out. If you sit in your hotel room all day, you’re just gonna go insane.

THE CLUB SCENE:

Dude, there’s only so many movies you can go to before you need a little bit of clubbing. But if we do go out before a game night, we’re not out there getting drunk. Guys are pretty responsible about that.

SUMMER VACATION:

Richard Jefferson and Channing Frye come stay with me in San Diego. They’re both from Phoenix. And we can’t really go to Phoenix in the off-season, because it’s so dang hot. So they come out here. So does Brian Cook and Kareem Rush. We workout in the morning and afternoon and, at night, we just kind of hang out and have fun…

THE FUN:

We bought a bunch of paintball guns and we went terrorizing the neighborhood. We weren’t going after houses, but we went to the little park down the street and we’d get teams of four-on-four, until we got chased off by the neighbors. They called the cops, so we had to do a getaway. You might not even want to put that in print. In case we’re fugitives.

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Fav Porn Titles 8

Posted by Mr. Guy July - 15 - 2009 - Wednesday ADD COMMENTS

favporntitlesHere’s what we’re doing. We’re counting backwards from 9. In other words, the first installment of our fav porn titles was No. 9, so this one, the 8th, would be our second. Got it? Can we call in the fluffer now to deliver a list of this week’s favorites?

Once again, five are real, five are made up. You decide which.

1. Honolulu Horse Breeder
“Sexy stable women are asked to go the extra mile for their trainer.”

2. Bent Over N Juicy 2
“International hotties burst open with love juices.”

3. Bang My Clit Slowly 3
“A team of beautiful coeds find that softball isn’t their first love.”

4. Honey, I Boned the Kids
“Thirty-five sexy Mormon daughters compete for the attention of their father.”

5. Wheelchair Wanda and the Seven Dwarfs 2
“A paraplegic MILF rolls with seven boy toys. ”

6. Dawg the Booty Hunter
“Dawg punishes vixens for porn misconduct.”

7. Come on My Tattoo 2
“Exciting women demand complete satisfaction.”

8. Big Sausage Pizza 12
“Hungry women need plenty of meat to satisfy their appetites.”

9. Filty Hitchhikin’ Sluts
“Lusty women seek rides on the horny highway.”

10. Great Balls of Fury 8
“Sizzling babes who like to light men’s genitals on fire.”

Real: 2, 6, 7, 8, 9
Not Real: 1, 3, 4, 5, 10

If you scored lower than 3, may we suggest a little visit to your nearest PPV menu. Watch. Rinse. Repeat.

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The Politics of Clubbing

Posted by Mr. Guy July - 15 - 2009 - Wednesday ADD COMMENTS

As the country gets revved up for next year’s big presidential elections, it’s your turn to get versed in the politics of clubbing. Because, like every facet of life, even clubbing comes with mazes of bureaucracy to finesse – from snaking past the no-neck bouncer (sorry if that’s you, pal) to getting a drink when the line is six deep.

And, unlike politics, it’s not whether you win or lose that counts, it’s how you play the game. The game that should be played with one goal in mind: to have fun. (And, oh yeah, if you score with the babes, bonus).

1. Game Plan

It happens often. You want to go one place and your friends want to go elsewhere. How to decide which path to take? As the Zen Monk might say: the path of least resistance.

That means, if your posse is hounding you to go somewhere, rather than hold out, and try to argue the point, let it go. Follow their lead. And here’s why: Many times I have had my mind set on a specific club. Because, you know, quite honestly, I thought it was going to be where the most action would be. When I say “action,” I mean: ass. In fact, I was convinced it was where I was going to hook-up with Miss Right Now. But eventually the finagling over where to roam made me not want to go out at all. And by the time I got to wherever we ended up, I wasn’t in the mood to be there. And, if Miss Right was in da house, I am sure she read my body language, and she probably passed me by for another Mr. Right Now.

Funny enough, when I was man enough not to have to “get my way,” I would miraculously meet someone. Probably because I had let go of my agenda and I was just going with the flow. And, if the club they picked sucked ass, there was always time to double-back on my original idea.

2. The Red Vine

Any way you look at it, this one sucks for guys. Trying to get past the no-neck bouncer is harder than trying to come up with an exit plan for Iraq. Obviously, if you’re a hot chick, it’s not hard giving No-neck a little hug, so he thinks you actually want him (for the two seconds it takes him to lift the rope). But if you’re a guy, not gonna work.

The only thing that is going to work is:

A) You come with hot chicks.

B) You get to the club early enough so you don’t have to wait in line.

C) You, like the good politician, get to know the bouncer over time, i.e., Find out his name, shake hands, be polite and patient (not pushy!), find out a few things about him (like what gym he works out at), and let time take care of the rest. When he is ready, and thinks you’re cool enough, he’ll let you know by parting the red (vine) seas and giving you V.I.P. treatment.

Lastly, there’s always the bribe. But this one, like politics, is very tricky. Who can be bought and who can’t? For this one, you want to approach the bouncer very casually. You might try having a bill inconspicuously in your hand and saying something like, almost jokingly, “How ya doing? Are you accepting gifts tonight?” When he says “Huh? WTF??” You say, “Just kidding. I was just trying to see if I could get in a little sooner. No worries.”

He’ll either tell you to get lost (“Back of the line, bud”), or laugh and play along. If he does the latter, you may be able to persuade him over to the darkside.

3. The Drink Line

This one can suck for both sexes. My advice for this one is to think of that Zen Monk dude again. Let it go. Get yourself in place, but do not be pushy or try to pressure the bartender. Just assume the position and stay there with a relaxed, calm smile on your face, especially every time the bartender looks in your direction. When the bartender answers the old Sesame Street adage “one of these dudes is not like the other,” you’re in. Make sure to thank them graciously and tip well, so the next time you come back, you’re treated like the biggest bird in the joint.

And, this is kind of obvious, but if there’s a cocktail waitress floating around, always track her down and go with her service. If the line at the bar is long, she’ll always be a quicker avenue for you getting lit. Same rule applies: smile and tip well. And DO NOT try to hit on her, or the bartender. This immediately puts you in the category of Loser. Do you know how many times a night guys flirt with them and win their affection? Do you know how many times this is successful? Once more, refer back to that trying to find an exit plan from Iraq thing.

4. The Babe Hunt

I saved the best for last. Because, whether we admit it or not, this is the reason we’re at the club in the first place.

Damn, I am going back to that friggin’ Zen Monk dude again. Let the female chi (read: energy) flow to you. If you’re aware of your surroundings, it’s pretty obvious when a girl wants anything to do with you. And it’s pretty obvious when they don’t. What you want to do is throw a little line out. That translates to a small smile in the direction of someone you’d like to meet.

You’ll know the instant you cast out if she’s interested. If she returns it, cool, start reeling in slowly. Don’t just cross the room right there and try to gut her. Once again, too pushy, and desperate (the biggest obstacle to you getting laid). Reeling in anything worthwhile takes time. And, this is the big one, when she doesn’t return your smile, don’t play the ego game and keep going after her. No matter how hot she is: accept and move on.

When you finally do have a catch on the line, it’s all about honesty and humor. F*ck the cheesy lines they teach you at double your dating dot com. These only work with chicks who are drunk enough to puke on you at the end of the night. Approach your girl with honesty first, “Hi, you’ve got a really nice smile and I wanted to know your name.” And then hit her with the self-deprecating humor, “Of course if you’d rather I tie a brick to my leg and jump off a bridge…”

Stop being afraid of rejection! This is what keeps us from being honest and taking chances. Know that rejection only exists in your mind. You create it. Not them. If you feel good about yourself, and trust that, what’s best for you will come your way, you’ll have no problem with putting your ass on the line to meet Miss Right Now.

And, hey, if you do score: PLEASE, no macking in front of everyone. Take the sh*t outside. Trust me, no one wants to see you O-bam-a her in public. And, if she looks like Hillary Clinton, or Rudy Giuliani, we really don’t want to see it!

Recommended viewing: Cool Bar & Drink websites

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8 Ways to Tell Your Band Sucks

Posted by Mr. Guy July - 15 - 2009 - Wednesday ADD COMMENTS

dtl_cid_danny-bonaduce1. Citing Extreme Suckatude, even Myspace Tom de-friends you.

2. Groupies are weighing in at over 200lbs. Bringing their own flour to concerts.

3. Latest gig at church bake sale. They made you pay for the Cool-Aid.

4. Lead singer’s looks, and talent, compared with Danny Bonaduce.

5. Lead singer actually is Danny Bonaduce.

6. People constantly complimenting you on how cool your guitar case is.

7. Concert appearances frequently end in Disturbing The Peace charges, and full cavity searches, just “because.”

8. You can’t get sex, and you have no drugs, and your rock n’ roll sounds like a cross between a chinchilla in heat and the Iraqi National Anthem.

P.S. Oh, say, can you see, if you’re a “friend” and you have this sneaking suspicion I think your band blows, please don’t ever invite me again. I promise to remember you at Christmas.

Long enough to run the other way. Attention Shoppers! Sucky band member on aisle four…

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How to Get More Dates

Posted by Mr. Guy July - 15 - 2009 - Wednesday ADD COMMENTS
moredates
Hey, guys, last time in How to Get More Dates we covered the two questions:

1) Where am I going? and…

2) Who is going with me?

And how, if you ask those questions in reverse order, you’re basically moving into Being Whipped For Eternity territory. We also told you about the Party Goddess and how she said getting girls is all about confidence.So how do we develop this confidence?

To begin with, we try to focus entirely on the “Where am I going question?” Forget the second question, for now. It will reveal its answer in its own time. FYI: Do you know how much energy guys waste in the name of p*ssy every day? Too much. Energy that could be better expended working on our own games.

That’s the Catch-22: Take focus off the No. 2 question, invest the energy back into yourself, and, in time, the No. 2 question will be easy to fill, because you’ll have taken the necessary time to become, what the Party Goddess desires, CONFIDENT.

Here’s 3 Quick Tips on How to Improve Your Game & Confidence

1. Make yourself a smarter person.

That means, yes, sigh, you’ll probably have to read. One Sunday with the NY Times will improve your brain performance immensely. A year later, you’re a friggin’ genius bedding art majors. If the NYT isn’t your bag, no worries, find something else to read, and not just something with pictures!

2. And more girth to your game.

We’re not talking penis extensions (although they wouldn’t hurt). We’re talking about adding some dimension to your game, as in: being a well-rounded person. Yes, the reading will help, but we also mean…

Yes, sigh, you’re going to have to get off the couch on the weekends and take up a new hobby. You know what works well here? Guitar. And not that cheesy plastic thing you masturbate with while playing Guitar Hero 2. HINT: That will never get you laid.

Three chords on a REAL guitar and you’re on your way to a “sensitive” designation. And you know how the gals like sensitive.

But learning to play guitar isn’t the only solution. What is it you’ve always wanted to do? Yes, YOU! Mountain climb? Sail? Cook? Foreign languages? Get to it, and once you’ve completed one pursuit, and developed some sense of mastery, move on to the next. It will help you build your self-esteem.

3. Get in shape.

A really cool, and easy-to-follow diet is going to be revealed for the first time in this column. It’s called the “Eat Less, Exercise More” diet. And, low and behold, it actually works, over time.

That means forget about all the quick-fix diets, and what have you. That shit has one design: to take your money.

Remember this: anything, ANYTHING, worthwhile in life takes time. And effort. And passion. That includes everything from your bank account to the woman you dream of.

You can start now, or run around like a chicken with your head cut off forever — and you know how many women like headless chickens.

Morale of the story: Grow your game, and you’ll grow your chicks. How to Get More Dates 1

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Straight Up with Lamar Odom

Posted by Mr. Guy July - 14 - 2009 - Tuesday ADD COMMENTS
dtl_cid_odom_170

Ray Guy caught up with Lamar Odom at a Laker practice, after Ray was kicked off the court by the Laker’s PR girl. He claims he sunk about 73% of his shots before that. BTW, Do layups count?

 

TGR: What’s the greatest challenge being a Laker?

 

LO: Triangle offense. It’s a real intricate offense. It has a lot of substance to it. There’s no play. We don’t call plays.

 

TGR: Just flow.

 

 

LO: Yeah, and every pass can lead to a different option. And can almost lead to a different set. So with every pass I make I can do something different. Some games you might get twenty shots and in an offensive games you might get nine shots.

 

TGR: So, it looks confined, but it’s really freeing you up once you learn it?

 

LO: Definitely. It looks confined. But what I like about it is that everybody can play, every position is equal. Like you don’t have to be a center. You can push a point-guard with a center. Push a center with a point-guard play. Everyone is interchangeable. I think that it’s a pass first offense. There’s just a lot to learn, it’s real deep.

 

TGR: Is it frustrating to you?

 

LO: Not really. I don’t let not scoring, or not taking a lot of shots frustrate me. As far as my basketball game is concerned, I’m a basketball player, not a scorer, you know. I try to play the whole game. I think it’s just going to make me a better player in the long run. As far as IQ. If you can learn this offense you can play for anybody.

 

TGR Do you get sick of the whole drama-watch, the soap opera crap that goes on with the Lakers?

 

LO: That’s only if you really pay attention to it. You got to understand where you’re at, in the market, as far as media coverage is concerned. You can figure it’s also a blessing. I mean, if you play for the Lakers everyone in Japan probably knows you. Your game is probably on in Europe. We get local coverage, national coverage, a lot of coverage. You got to understand the market you’re in. It’s just one of those things.

 

TGR: What is the difference between putting on a Lakers’ jersey, or putting on a Clippers’ jersey or a Heat jersey or a Rhode Island jersey? Is there a mystique that you feel about it?

 

LO: There’s definitely a difference. The Lakers got fourteen championships altogether. So, you know how Boston is always good, and yet there’s a difference between the Red Sox and the Yankees. To me the Lakers are like the Yankees of basketball.

 

TGR: But with a nicer owner.

 

LO: Yeah, with a really cool owner. Great fan support. The only difference is when you go away, you go to a lot of places, and you see a lot of purple and gold in the crowd. Just like the Yankees. When they go and play in Anaheim, you can see those pinstripes in the crowd. I say it’s really good, because they’ve had a great tradition for a long time.

 

TGR: What’s the best thing about being Kobe Bryant’s teammate?

 

LO: The open looks that I get. You know, he demands so much attention.
We get a bunch of television games. You know what I’m saying? That’s because of him. You could feed off the energy. When we walk into a game, he has a great following. So his followers becomes your followers.

 

TGR: Has Coach brought any unorthodox methods to the table recently?

 

LO: We meditated one time, that was really different. He talked us through it. I never did that before. One thing I’ve learned in my seven years: is the mind can take you places where the body can’t. And then take your body with it, because that’s how strong it is.

 

TGR: So, after you meditated, what was the feeling?

 

LO: It was like a laid back type of thing. And after that we had practice. We really had a good practice. So I imagine we’ll probably do more of that.

 

TGR: Any other interesting things he’s doing with you?

 

LO: You know, everybody’s approach is different. He doesn’t yell a lot. People might think he might yell. He’s real laid back. Easy going. But he definitely gets his point across.

 

TGR: However he has to, right?

 

LO: Yup. He’s sarcastic. He’s really sarcastic. He picks on the rookies the most.

 

TGR: What would he be if he wasn’t a coach?

 

LO: He’d probably have his own talk show, like, what’s my man’s name…Bill Maher. I can see him being like that, having a talk show like that. He knows a little about everything, he’s really smart and intelligent dude.

 

TGR: You said there’s an extra advantage of putting on a Laker jersey, but is there also, with that Laker cape, an added pressure? Different than say, Miami or a Clipper.

 

LO: There’s pressure being a Yankee, right? I think pressure is what we thrive on, people that really love to compete.

 

TGR: What former Laker commands the most respect?

 

LO: Magic. But, you know, I’m from New York so Kareem is obviously the best center of all time. He scored the most points in basketball history. I don’t know if anybody is ever gonna catch him. LeBron has a chance because he’s so young. But he’s got a lot of scoring to do. But it’s great having Kareem around. Telling you the things that he sees.

 

TGR: What has he taught you specifically?

 

LO: You got to be patient. He tells me, all the time, it’s not about scoring. You know, this team just needs somebody to lead them. I just try to stay focused and keep my poise on the court so I can help lead the guys. With Magic, same thing. He’s always around. He has a lot of experience. Especially with me handling the ball, he’s pulling me to the side telling me things I should do running the break, try to get everybody involved.

 

TGR: What’s the Lakers greatest fear?

 

LO: Simple: losing, man. Some teams, if they just make the playoffs, they get a pat on the back, saying: “you gonna get ‘em next time.

 

TGR: Are the Lakers still the world’s favorite team?

 

LO: I would say it’s a race between the Lakers and the Yankees. The Yankees might be one up, because if you go to Italy and try to get a baseball cap, the Yankee cap is like everywhere. It’s part of fashion. The Lakers are right there, the Cowboys.

 

TGR: So the Lakers have to get back on top?

 

LO: Yeah. I mean, winning is important. You need to win to be successful on the court. And everything follows along with it.

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Interview with a Pornstar 1

Posted by Mr. Guy July - 14 - 2009 - Tuesday ADD COMMENTS
dtl_cid_girl TGR: So did you ever think when you were a little girl, this is where you’d be? In porn?

K: Oh, god, no.

TGR: What’s the first time it ever crossed your mind?

K. Oh my god. The first time?

TGR: Yes.

K: I think everybody thinks about it in the back of their minds, to a certain extent. Everybody always kind of wonders what it would be like. But I can’t say exactly when was the first time, because I’m a horny girl and I’ve been watching porn forever.

TGR: Since you were how old?

K: I have no idea…maybe like, fifteen.

TGR: Okay, go on.

K: It was never that far off to me. Like I don’t think I shocked too many people.

TGR: What about your family? Did you shock them?

K: Oh, yeah. My mom just found it.

TGR: Recently?

K: Yes.
TGR: And how long have you been doing it?

K: I’ve been doing it for, like, a little after I got married, like, five months. And I wanted to wait until I was doing something really nice, or a feature. She knows that my husband does it, so she probably knew that I was gonna do it. But I wanted to wait until I was doing something nice and pretty. And somebody walks into her work with a movie called Who’s Your Daddy? And she shows her the box and says: ‘Does this girl look familiar to you?’

TGR: Wait, wait. You were on the box of Who’s Your Daddy?

K: Yeah.

TGR: And someone at her work brought it into her? Is this a true story?

K: (sounding bummed just remembering it). Yes.

TGR: So mom called you right away…

K: Mom called me and…

TGR: How long did it take her to call you?

K: Oh, God, I don’t know. Like the next day. And they gave her a copy of it. And she was like: ‘I don’t want to watch this.’ So her friends watched it…

RC: And you were doing daddy?

K: No! My husband.

TGR: Played the daddy role?

K: Yes.

TGR: Okay.

K: It’s not even like that. It’s like, you know… (In man’s tone) Who’s your daddy? (Answering in little girl tone, which she does much better): Yeah, daddy, I like it like that.

Or whatever. It’s not really like playing your father.

TGR: What’s your pay?

K: Mine’s kind of higher than, I guess, a lot of girls. For a boy/girl, $1200, for girl/girl, $800. Most people get six for a girl/girl.

TGR: And that’s a day?

K: That’s a scene.

TGR: How many days a week do you work?

K: I don’t like to work more than once a week. Because I’m just trying to take it slow right now and build up a name – and not to get shot out real quick. Because I only work with my husband.

TGR: You won’t work with other guys?

K: I don’t want to.

TGR: How about women?

K: Oh, yeah, I work with other girls. I just don’t want to work with any other men.

TGR: Because you don’t have any desire to? Or you think it might mess up your relationship?

K: I don’t have any desire to. And I don’t want to take the chance of it fucking our relationship up. Which I don’t think it would, anyway, because we have a very, very strong relationship. If, some day, it came up, and I wanted to do it, I don’t think it would be something he would hold me back from. Like, he wants me to experience everything. It’s just not something I’m into.

TGR: Do you guys experiment outside of the film world?

K: What do you mean? Do we hook-up with other chicks?

TGR: Yeah, exactly.

K: I hook-up with tons of other chicks.

TGR: Is he involved?

K: He sometimes videotapes it.

TGR: Wait. How many chicks do you hook up with?

K: Tons of them.

TGR: Really?

K: Yeah.

TGR: How old are you?

K: 23.

TGR: And how many girls have you been with?

K: I can’t count that high.

TGR: Give me like an average. Over 50?

K: No. I started hooking up with girls when I came out to California.

TGR: You see what California does to people?

K: Well, no, because I always wanted to, but girls were afraid of me. Like, back East, it’s not normal.

TGR: Come on, Massachusetts doesn’t have gay women?

K: Yeah, but that’s gay women. I don’t like gay women…

TGR: Okay.

K: …like butch-dykes.

TGR: What is the pleasure-factor in being with a woman?

K: I just think chicks are hot. And it’s not really a threat for my husband. I think it kind of just like makes you horny and makes you want to go home and f*ck your man. At the end of the day, a girl still needs a little dick.

TGR: A little dick or a big dick?

K: (realizes her faux-pas and laughs) A big dick. I think the girls kinda make you horny so you can go home and jump your man’s c*ck. That’s just how I feel.

TGR: So you do chicks as an aphrodisiac?

K: Oh, totally.

TGR: Do you have any specialties?

K: Ahhhh, I don’t think so. I haven’t been in here too long.

TGR: Would you like to have a specialty one day?

K: Yeah. To be the hottest chick ever.

TGR: That’s what you want to be?

K: Yeah.

TGR: And what are your limits?

K: Um, I don’t have too many limits.

TGR: Donkeys?

K: I draw the line at donkeys.

TGR: Okay, good.

K: But like, my anal, I’m going to hold out for a little while.

TGR: You haven’t had anal yet?

K: Um, not on film.

TGR: So why are you holding out?

K: Because you gotta keep something, to have longevity in your career. Like, if you just give everything up the first year…and when you do you’re gonna get shot out and no one is going to want to see anything anymore. We’ve already seen that, why am I going to pay to see it again? Same thing. When, you know, if you hold out on your anal, you can get more in the end.

TGR: No pun intended.

K: Yeah.

TGR: Where did you pick up that philosophy?

K: All my girlfriends basically. I was blessed to come into the industry with a lot of people who have a lot of knowledge about the porn industry, who’ve been in it for a while. They’re just very intelligent people, and have that longevity in their career, when they’ve been in it like for five years and they still work all the time.

TGR: And do you have like a time plan on when you’re going to give the anal up?

K: I don’t really have a time plan, just whenever it’s right. Probably like around the end of my career somewhere.

TGR: How old will you be when that happens?

K: I have no idea.

TGR: You don’t have plans for that?

K: I don’t know. Because it depends on how well my career is going. If my career’s not going so well, and I think I want to get out of it, and I want do something else…

TGR: Like?

K: I don’t know. Whatever I may want to do. Have kids, be a housewife (she laughs).

TGR: Okay.

K: Do make-up/hair, because that’s what I did before I came into the industry.

And, you know, I’ll do it then [anal], make a little extra cash. You know, for a little cushion. Then I’ll do something else. But for now, it seems to be going really well, and I don’t want to think about it, because I don’t want to jinx it or anything.

TGR: I hear ya.

K: I want to let it roll.

Read Part 2 of our Interview with a Pornstar.

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History of Bikinis

Posted by Mr. Guy July - 14 - 2009 - Tuesday ADD COMMENTS
It’s pretty obvious what kind of women wear bikinis: the hot ones. And it doesn’t matter what their suits are made from – nylon, cotton, string, vinyl, macramé, fur, mink, rubber, leaves, seaweed, or tampon string – because we’ll hang on the titillation of what lies just underneath, regardless. A kind of, existential foreplay. Existential, in that most bikini babes would have a hard time explaining how they affect us – as they’re happy just to know they do: SCHWING! But before you go running wild this summer, trying to tear off any bikini that will have you, best you know a little about the history of where they came from first.
300 A.D. Mural found in an Italian villa displays two dozen frolicking bathing nymphs wearing two-piece bathing suits with green or red strapless bra tops and hip-hugging bottoms. Hugh Hefner not alive to throw them in a mansion. 1945. Paris. While running his mother’s lingerie business, trying to find a name for a newly developed swimsuit, Louis Réard, an automotive engineer by trade, coins the name “bikini” after the U.S. Army tests a nuclear bomb in the Bikini Atoll on the Marshall Islands. Major explosion when Reard has nude dancer Micheline Bernardini strut down a Paris catwalk in one. After photos hit the press, Bernardini is besieged with 50,000 fan letters. (The art of stalking is born.)
The fall-out: several Catholic countries, including Spain, Portugal and Italy, ban the bikini altogether. Decency leagues in America begin putting pressure on Hollywood to keep them out of the movies. A writer of the time, says: “A two-piece bathing suit reveals everything about the girl except her mother’s maiden name.” And who the hell wants to know that? 1951. Beauty pageants worldwide ban the bikini. Preferred choice of dress: body armor. 1956. The French film And God Created Women features actress Brigitte Bardot in a bikini. It ignites a major market for swimsuits abroad. Hollywood gets in on the act by offering 3D glasses to see it. Unfortunately, The Attack of the Killer Boobies isn’t on the double feature bill.
1957. Modern Girl magazine tries to quell the bikini uprising by saying: “It’s hardly necessary to waste words over the so-called bikini, since it is inconceivable that any girl with tact and decency would ever wear such a thing.” That same year, the song “Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini” sends all those “tactful” girls rushing to buy one.
1963. Ex-Mousketeer Annette Funicello joins the bikini parade in the movie Beach Party. The film leads to six sequels, including How to Stuff a Wild Bikini. Note: Somewhere, a future Beverly Hills Plastic Surgeon is smiling. 1964. European designer Rudi Gernreich develops the mono-kini (topless) and it provokes the Vatican to denounce all things “bikini.” Homosexual priests are still OK!
1964. Sports Illustrated – trying to find an attention-grabber between the Superbowl and baseball season – puts model Babette March on the cover in a bikini. Over night, a number one sport, and magazine, is born.
1964. Raquel Welch gets all “sporty” in One Million Years B.C. Over night, young men begin spending more QT in bathroom. 1970’s. Tanga suits, AKA the thong, are unveiled on the beaches of Brazil. Note: Somewhere, a homosexual priest is caught wearing one. 1988. Four years after his death, Louis Reard’s company goes under. May he RIP in Bikini Heaven.
80’s-early 90’s. Bikini sales plummet, dropping to less than a third of the women’s swimsuit market. You see what Reagan did?! Mid 90’s. MTV pumps up the flesh volume by displaying hordes of teens shaking their assets at Spring Break. CPR to the bikini is also delivered by Baywatch, which spreads its message of warmth, IQ, Pamela’s boobs, and skyrocketing bikini sales to every shore. And there is nothing existential about that. Or this…
   

 
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