“It was like finding out your father is Hitler, says Matthew Roberts, long lost son to Charles Manson. “I’m a peaceful person – trapped in the face of a monster. My hero is Gandhi. I’m an extremely non-violent, peaceful person and a vegetarian. I don’t even kill bugs.”
Oh, you will now. Trust me. You will.
1. Sam Presti, Oklahoma Thunder: Executive of Year
Who would have ever thunk Presti could make us forget the Sonics in such a short time. Seattle grungers must be seething, one more reason to gaze at their shoes.
Sure, they’re practically six feet under ground, but they’re still scoring! This is a future “silver lining” for Jersey (IF there is such a thing). BTW, what is Lawrence Frank still doing at the board? Chemistry class was canceled, dude!
3. Paul Westphal, Sacramento Kings: Extreme NBA Makeover Award
If Arnold could have worked this quickly in the capital of Colliefornia? (Well, he might be able to pronounce “Colliefornia” by now.)
4. Houston Rockets: Scrappiest Bunch in the League
Yao and McGrady’s injuries a blessing in disguise for the future of the franchise? What happens with T-Mac in the mix? Does Scrappy Doo Aaron Brooks still have the “Lemme at ‘em! I’ll splat ‘em!” attitude? Or will he have to take a back seat to Scoob Mac?
5. Ron Artest, Los Angeles Lakers: The Quiet Man
Role player extraordinaire, quietly going about his business, a true professional work ethic in action. Can it last? As long as the Lakers are successful it can. And you just know Ron-Ron is going to be making an appearance on next year’s Entourage, especially if the Lakers win the championship. Victory!