Roommate: “This beer bottle is actually a gun…”
Dude, what happened to my hash?
Siphoning Gone Bad
Dick With Chest Pains
At least he didn’t fly a plane into it!
“Do you take this woman to be-” “Wait a minute you f*cking bitch!”
Wait up! Did you try the PRO LEVEL? You can also EMBED (lower right corner!) on your Facebook page or blog…An one last pitch: Make sure to ask the President a question on the Magic Obama Ball — available soon on your Android phone.
It’s been uttered by a gazillion women in a gazillion different languages, “Guys only want one thing!” Here’s my reply to the gazillion women (I wished I had loved before): “Well, yeah!”
This quote from sci-fi writer Cory Doctorow, in the book Free by Chris Anderson, makes me realize guys aren’t a lot different from, well, in this case, (sorry, guys, I know they’re not too macho) dandelions. WTF? Drumroll, please:
“The disposition of each–or even most–of the seeds isn’t the important thing, from a dandelion’s point of view. The important thing is that every spring, every crack in every pavement is filled with dandelions. The dandelion doesn’t want to nurse a single precious copy of itself in hopes that it will leave the nest and carefully navigate its way to the optimum growing environment, there to perpetuate the line. The dandelion just wants to be sure that every single opportunity for reproduction is exploited!”
Trust me, a guy’s instinct is no different, we just put clothes over it and call it human.*
* Ladies, believe it or not, in your own precious way, you’re not part of the problem, you’re part of the solution. Now get with the program! We’ll need to get out and stretch our Inner Dandelion a little more often.
This was right before Coach Martin took a physical shot at his player. Of course, being the kiss-ass he is, ESPN’s Fran Fraschilla followed Martin’s slight punch with: “Oh, his players really love him.” Doesn’t look like love to me Frannie. Looks a wee bit abusive. And, oh darn, the AHCW lost.
Frank Martin just before he hits his player in loss to Missouri.
1. What better way to cause PBSD? (Permanent Ball Sack Damage) “Look out below!!”
2. It’s you, it’s nature, it’s you in nature. Get to know it before it’s gone.
3. Exorbitant prices! Outta the way, let me at those $15 dollar cheeseburgers!
4. Skiboot Orgasm Removal at end of day.
5. Because snowboarders are still lost in the quad searching for any sign of class.