Check out this pictorial from our absolute favorite place to ski in California, Mammoth Mountain.

We don’t want to say it’s the only place to ski in California, but it’s surely the baddest ass one, a mountain to challenge you at every turn, no matter what level of rider you are. And the powder…

But before you go, you may want to take this little quiz.

What’s wrong with this picture:

A) It’s poorly framed.
B) Someone needs to call the fashion police.

This boarder is:

A) A serious powder hound.
B) Gonna have to explain to his mom how he buried his little brother.

These guys are:

A) The U.S. Army.
B) The U.S. Army more scared than they’ve ever been in their lives.

This tree is:

A) The bra rack for Chair 5.
B) Very happy.

He can do what you can do better because:

A) Two sticks are better than one.
B) Skiers rule!

This man is:

A) Reminding skiers (and birds) who’s boss.
B) Wondering how many ribs he’s about to break.

The following is:

A) The cheapest lodging you’ll find in Mammoth.
B) Kevin Costner’s make-up trailer.

We’re wondering:

A) How’s the water.
B) Who got Michael Phelps stoned again.

This Guy is:

A) Dreaming of his happy place.
B) In his happy place.

These guys are:

A) Cirque du Soleil on ice.
B) The U.S. Army after two weeks of training.

P.S. Someone in Pakistan better watch their back.

What are you waiting for? Be all you can be. Check out these mountain facts, then get your tail up to Mammoth Mountain for the ultimate ski and boarding experience. Tell them the Guys sent you.

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Recommended reading: Babes in Action Sports

Fahvera on:

PRESEASON

“I don’t think anyone needs six weeks of an NFL training camp for maybe five preseason games. It’s ridiculous. Too many guys get hurt over a game that means nothing. I go back with all the young guys, and they start from day one. And I’m just sitting there thinking about hedging, weeding, or golfing.”

FACING THE BURNOUT

“I think a lot of players – not necessarily athletes; people who’ve been successful for a long period of time, whatever field they’re in – probably face the same challenge. Maybe you’ve had numerous albums and No.1’s, and finally you say, ‘Who cares?’ Like Garth Brooks, who walked away from it. I think everybody faces that time.”

NEON DEION FADING

“I talked to Deion Sanders right before he retired. He said, ‘You know what Brett? I knew it was time for me to retire when I was playing and I looked up in the third quarter’, and regardless of who he was covering, he’d like up at the clock and say, ‘Man, this game can’t get over quick enough.’”

MOTHERS HIDE YOUR BREAD LOAVES

“The only reason I am there is my right arm. If I had a great will to win, and I was a great leader, but I couldn’t dent a loaf of bread from 10 yards, I wouldn’t be there.”

YOU KEEP ON PLAYING THOSE MIND GAMES

“Time and time again, I go into training camp and I think part of it is, I’ve challenged myself subconsciously. I go into training camp and say, ‘I just don’t know if I can do it. I don’t know if I can make this throw work.’ That’s always worked in my favor – those doubts, letting those doubts creep in the back of my mind. I wouldn’t say I’m a pessimist. But I also wouldn’t say I’m an optimist. I’m sure a lot of people would think, ‘Brett Favre, he’s probably got the most confidence – off the charts.’ It’s not that I don’t. But I’m a realist. I’m not going to go out there and light it up week in and week out.”

THE HURT

“We won the Super Bowl and then lost it the following year, within a year’s time. The feeling I got when we lost easily outweighed the jubilation I had when we won it.”

THE HONOR

“To be a pro football player in general is special. To be a star quarterback…goes without saying. But to be a starting quarterback for the Green Bay Packers – I knew that was special. I couldn’t be playing in a better place. It would be like playing baseball for the Yankees, or basketball for the Celtics. It’s a dream come true.”

HOW TO REMEMBER A LEGEND

“When it’s over, all I care about is that people say: ‘If I can play, I want to play just like him. The way he plays, the way he carries himself.’ I would hope they say, ‘I like the way that guy plays. You can’t help respect the guy.’ I want people to say that and nothing more.”

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Recommended reading: Love Letter to Brett Favre

1. Hey, dad, is this how you taught me to do it?
2. You scary man! Stay away or I’ll throw my train at you.
3. No way!
4. Way.
5. Yeah, I think way.
6. Go Obama!
7. I love you Sarah!
8. This is baseball guys, and we just got robbed.
9. It’s Florida, motherf*ckers. What did you expect?

p.s. Did you see the souvenier bat the Rays gave to Dick Vitale?

Oh, yippee, baseball is almost back. Yawn. Too many games, too many innings. Can we just skip to the playoffs? That would be cool! No? We can’t? What’s our problem? Other than A-Rod? Here’s a few of them:

1. Boredom

Face it. You can distill the exciting moments in a baseball game down to about ten seconds. Is there any reason to watch 162 games other than to waste one’s f-ing life away?

2. Barry Bonds

Um, yes, he did it. Again and again. And we’re going to have to hear about it again and again. In fact, the ESPN Ticker is whetting its lips just thinking about the gazillions of times it’s going to be flashing the Bonds trial 411. To the A.D.D. ESPN, and the “victim” Barry, we say: Oh f*ck off!

3. The Wave

Hey, fans: STOP doing the wave. CEASE! In case you had no clue (and obviously you don’t), that is soooo 1980s.

4. Baseball Glove Guy

Bro, if you’re over, say, 21, and you bring your glove to the game, just in case a foul ball comes your way…LOSER. And if your girlfriend brings her glove? Fill in (blank), reader.

5. Hot Dogs

Come on, “ball park” franks is pretty much short for sh*t on a bun. (Or is that “long”?) Either way, who wants to even think how long these things have been stewing in some rat-infested basement “kitchen” collecting more fun ingredients for your health.

6. Billy Crystal

Yeah, yeah, you live and die with the Yankees. It’s like your lifeblood. Who cares? At the end of the day, it’s a just game where illiterate kids get paid millions to play with sticks and balls.

7. Chicago Cub Fans

Every year, it’s the same thing: “This is our year.” Well, once again, no, it’s not. Trust us, your team will find a way to choke. So sit the hell down and stop acting like it’s going to happen. It ain’t. Ever. Get used to it.

8. Relief Pitchers

Stop pretending like they’re these big heroes who come in and save the day when the Injuns have surrounded the fort. They make four pitches and go back to their hotel room and watch Spank-O-Vision while fantasizing about sex with Jessica Simpson. Big hero. Play football next time.

9. Vendor Guy

Hey, douche bag, we know you gotta sell peanuts for a living. Not our fault. So, you need to STOP SCREAMING IN OUR F-ING EARS! You’re worse than the 6:00 AM Garbage Collector Douche Bags. Yeah, sure, we separated the plastic from the diapers.

10. Roger Clemens

We saved the worst for last. Yes, we still really despise your blockhead. You are a stain on the good (well, in theory) name of the game. It would be so cool to see your head explode on youtube. It’d be featured right along with the farting tortoise.

P.S. There’s so much more we hate about the sport. Bud Selig’s such an old relic, we didn’t even get around to mentioning his brain dead ass. So consider this a warning, Bud, there may be extra innings. Kids, prepare the Wave.

Thank God. Just in the nick of time. Something not-quite-as-wicked comes along to shift the nation’s focus from our bottomless pit economy to something a little more, ahem, distracting.

Of course I’m speaking of March Madness. That time of year when men would rather watch ten fellow primates competing to throw a ball through a hoop than do something constructive for society. Like, say, hmm, solve this fricken economic crisis? Or, how about, learn to find our G-spot once and for all? Or does that futile hunt have to wait till Easter again? Hallelujah, sister!

“Um, yeah, it’s that time of year again, honey…”

Ok, ok, I’m not here to go all maniac on your Madness, or stand in the way of your DNA — especially when it’s glued to a television set worshiping a bald, one-eyed Italian freak who is suffering from far longer than a 4-hour erection. I’m here to demonstrate what good sports we ladies can be, and how, if given the opportunity, we like to participate.

With that said, please accept my token of affection in the form of a pop quiz. Remember: there are no stupid questions. Only stupid athletic directors who look the other way when stupid athletes find someone else stupid enough to take their quizzes for them. Please! Eyes on your own computer screen.

1. What is a RPI rating?

a. An impossibly complex system that, together, the CIA, FBI, NSA and PETA wouldn’t be able to figure out, especially if the nation’s security depended on it.

b. In female terms: Ratings Penetration Index. (What you should be studying instead of your brackets, boys! Hehe.)

c. An anagram for RIP, our last letters to you as we’re walking out the door after deeming your RPI rating unsuitable for any woman that doesn’t dance on a pole down at Cy’s Secondhand Strip Club.

2. The real fear factor during March Madness is:

a. Watching grown men reduced to blathering babies after your team loses.

b. When your idea of Survivor is not getting off the couch for three weeks and living off the leftover potato chips and cockroaches you find between the cracks.

c. Having your every household chore scrutinized as if we babes were UN Weapons Inspectors and you were the desert. Nope, that isn’t a mirage, those actually are divorce papers in our hands.

3. If we happen to be gracing you with our presence when the savvy TV director cuts to the proverbial “Cheerleader Cam,” you should:

a. Hit pause button on TIVO (again) and try to explain to us (again) the finer significance of the art of Camel Toe spread all over your coverage.

b. Suggest the two of us go over a few “cheers” of our own, which would mean, me, which we both know would end up fully documented on MILF.com. (P.S. Don’t worry boys, I’ve given the little one up for adoption. i.e., SINGLE!)

c. Describe how being a cheerleader is a vital stepping stone to grander things in life, like Paula Abdul groping an Idol contestant, or the entire cast of Pom Pom Girls Gone Wild learning to eat rice cakes.

“Eat me! You skinny bitch!”

4. A man knows he’s on the bubble when:

a. His buddies vote themselves off the island and swim ashore before the final two-minute warning of the Significant Other arriving.

b. He comes home to find his TV set has been TP’d and his remote control reprogrammed to a trap door straight to the doghouse.

c. He tries to create a “living room wave” (as his buddies hit the door) and all she’ll give him is a middle finger.

5. When your game conflicts with any of our favorite Reality shows, or re-runs of Dirty Dancing, you should:-

a. Find the shortest route to any sports bar (with the exception of Hooters).

b. Understand: for each game taped, you get 80 extra minutes to do something useful for the world. Like commiserate with me over my favorite realty show, or how Jennifer Grey must be feeling over Patrick Swayze’s cancer

c. Realize the reality that the reality of us arguing over what to watch could make for compelling Reality TV of its own one day.

6. When going through withdrawals because the games are over, you should:

a. Join a 12-Step program moderated by Jim Gray.

b. Go back to the crack. Such a turn-on for us.

c. Find something else to pour your passion into. Um, I’m thinking: Relationship?

7. How to get drafted from the doghouse back to the bedroom:

a. Diamonds are a girl’s best friend, but taking out the garbage every once in a while, shaving (both places!) and actually bringing home a real paycheck wouldn’t hurt.

b. Be understanding when OUR season begins. Oh right, it already has. It’s called Shopping, and it never ends, bitches!

c. Figure out OUR RPI rating and stay in the ballgame long enough to satisfy it, pal.

Because that’s obviously the real reason we hate sports: More sports’ times equals less “us” time. Which breaks down into less shots at our basket, and, in turn, a world not multiplying as fast as we’d like it to.

Yes, we’re in a hurry to overpopulate this planet so we can move to another. One where Venus and Mars will be aligned a little differently: with no fricken sports in between! Enjoy your balls while you’ve got them, boys. I’m outta here.

About The Sports Basher:

Betty Burke is president of the Beverly Hills-Adjacent Chapter of W.A.S. (Women Against Sports). She’s a single mother of one gorgeous child, and she also runs the Betty Burke Beverly Hills-Adjacent Dance Academy — basically training women to instill “awareness” in sports-addicted husbands with the aide of pole dancing. This is her first assignment for The Guy Report. You can follow her at http://twitter.com/thesportsbasher.

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Recommended reading: NBA Team Unity For Losers

Memphis Tigers assistant coach Josh Pastner(above, left) has been around a couple of the greats in his time on the bench, Lute Olson for the Arizona Wildcats, and now John Calipari at Memphis, where Pastner is putting in his first year after spending 17 years at Arizona, as both a player and assistant coach.

Give us your assessment of Coach Calipari.

Coach Calipari is the best coach in the game, period. Bottom line: Pro, college, HS, does not matter. He is a master motivator, a genius tactician, and a phenomenal recruiter. He has the complete package. The players are willing to go through a wall for him.

Is last season’s championship game vs. Kansas discussed much?

He talks, at times, about last year, and the lessons that were learned from it, but he has talked a lot about this team having its own identity, which they are developing

Any similarities with the Zona and Memphis programs?

Lots of similarities. Great support, great energy for the team, enthusiasm, just a special environment to be around basketball.

What do you miss about Arizona, and what’s cool about Memphis?

The weather in Tucson is, for sure, better, and the BBQ in Memphis is better. Other than that, both places are really good places to live.

Are you keeping tabs on Arizona still?

Still follow the Wildcats. Really want them to do well. And they are really playing well. I think Russ Pennell and staff is doing a good job with the squad. It’s my alma mater so I have great affection for that place.

What’s your take on Tyreke Evans?

Great kid. Super work ethic. He is not only one of the better freshmen, but one of the better players in the country.

Coincidence last year’s Arizona coach Kevin O’Neil is in Memphis, assisting for the Grizzlies?

Coach O’Neil being here is pretty cool. Gave me a familiar face to have around. He is a very good basketball coach, so it gave me the opportunity to bounce questions off of him.

What does Memphis assistant Rod Strickland bring to the coaching table?

Rod Strickland is the one of the greats. When a guy played in the NBA for 17 years and has that type of knowledge and expertise on the game, then anybody that does not listen when he speaks is not being real smart.

Who is your team leader?

Antonio Anderson is one of the best leaders in the country. He really does a good job of keeping the players light and also sharp. The guys respect him and look up to him.

Team goals heading into March Madness?

Our goal is to win every game. Our goal is to win it all. That is the bar that has been set and raised here by coach Calipari.

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Recommended reading: Arizona PG Nic Wise

When you place a call to Barry Zito, one quickly discovers he’s a Tom Jones fan. His outgoing message starts with Zito using his voice to do the opening instrumental on Jones’s “It’s Not Unusual,” then Zito bursting into song: “It’s not unusual not to be near my phone…it’s not unusual, leave a message at the tone.”

Just don’t say, “Hey, Barry, you suck!” He says he gets that enough.

TGR: What’s the biggest wave you’ve ridden?

BZ: The biggest waves I’ve ridden probably had 10-foot faces. But I’ve been out when there was 18-20-foot faces and it was really scary. I didn’t even catch one. I was with this friend who was really good and I did the macho thing, thinking I could hang.

TGR: Do you have a surfing clause in your contract?

BZ: Oh yeah, because if I get hurt doing it I still want to be paid.

TGR: Any other major leaguers that you surf with?

BZ: Ryan Klesko, Brett Mayne and I went to Tavarua, Fiji a few years ago, and we’ve been to Costa Rica.

TGR: Do you do any other action sports?

BZ: I don’t. I’m gonna have to wait’ll I retire to get on a snowboard. When you’re a part of a business model that depends on you to get your shit done…I can’t sacrifice that for little things.

TGR: Any desire to pursue a music career one day?

BZ: Definitely. Down the line. But right now I’m still developing my style. It’s certainly not just a baseball jock novelty thing.

TGR: How would you describe your style?

BZ: Easy listening. A lot of jazzy progressions in a pop fashion. It puts you in a good mood.

TGR: Where do you get your faith from?

BZ: My grandma actually founded a religious school. It was based on some teachings from Christ; really about finding your spirituality and self-empowerment. When you put your mind to something and dedicate yourself to a cause, you can do anything you want. In some people’s eyes you can’t, but that’s the kind of negativity that’s like a cancer, and I make sure to avoid people like that…including the media. No offense to you.

TGR: None taken. Before this season, what was the hardest moment for you on a professional level, and how were you able to make sense of that utilizing your faith?

BZ: It was in 2001. I was having a terrible season. I was like 6-7 with an almost 5.0 era. I was afraid to even take the mound. But that’s how you feel when you’re down in the dumps. Then my dad came to stay with me for four days and talked to me about changing my mind, and the perceptions I had of myself, and how to
focus on that without letting the outside things bother me. It was basically a study session that had a huge impact on me.

TGR: And the result?

BZ: I think the next 13 starts I was like: 11-1 with a 1.03 era.

TGR: What did you learn from the experience?

BZ: It taught me the power of my mind, and how powerful words and thoughts can be. Every where we go, people tell us how hard life is and how we have to struggle. It’s up to you whether you want to focus on that.

TGR: The greatest challenge keeping Barry Zito focused is…

BZ: The everyday challenges in believing who you are and not listening to all the craziness. A lot of people like to create negativity because, unfortunately, negativity sells.

TGR: You told us that people are afraid of change. Why?

BZ: Mainly because people are comfortable, and they fear the unknown. That’s why I love L.A. so much [editor's note: Zito lives in Hollywood in the off season]. Every day you see someone with a back pack and bus ticket from the middle of Ohio. And they come out here to be a singer, or to act, to follow their dreams, and they might not even make it. But it takes crazy balls to do that.

TGR: L.A. is quite the trip.

BZ: It’s like Disneyland out here, man. You got Hef and the Mansion…I was out last night and there were two chicks making out right in front of me.

TGR: So, sucks to be you. But what do you say to people who can’t get out of their funk, can’t find it within themselves to step up to a new challenge?

BZ: There’s no room for regret. You don’t want to say I spent 50 years at a shitty job, and then say you would’ve rather taken a chance on your dream. It’s existing versus living. Some people are afraid to dream. They don’t want to get themselves pumped up because they don’t want chance the failure. We gotta dig down to the depths of our souls and put it to use in our lives.

If you’re like us, you’re getting all tingly right now anticipating the Madness we’re all about to witness. And we are not talking about anything to do with Dancing With the Stars or American Idol (get an f-ing life people!).

The real games are set to begin! And, along with them, the question of who will add themselves to this illustrious (minus one) list. In no particular order.

1. 1995 Second Round, UCLA vs. Missouri

Situation: 4.8 left on the clock, UCLA down one. Tyus Edney demonstrates how to become the Human Blur as he races down court, dribbling with his left hand. Just after mid-court, he goes around his back and changes to his favorite hand. He then barrels down the gut of the defense and kisses it off the glass to rip the heart out of the Tigers, a 75-74 win for UCLA.

Watch it.

2. 1983 Championship Game, North Carolina State vs Houston

The situation: Called the “Cardiac Kids” because Jimmy Valvano’s troops had won five games in a row, this was the ultimate chest crusher. At least for the heavily favored Houston Cougars starring Hakeem the Dream and Clyde Drexler.

Total chaos on the last possession as North Carolina State looked like a three-year-old playing Operation for the first time: shaky! But Dereck Whittenburg managed about the best 30-foot pass anyone has ever seen. All right, we know, it wasn’t a pass, but it was an assist from the Gods of Hoop, as Lorenzo Charles caught the ball in midair and laid it back in, sending their Cardiac Coach Jimmy V racing around the court as if he had just been told Santa Claus was real. BTW, it was the first basket for the Woflpack’s front-court in the second half. Thanks for showing up boys!

Watch it.

3. 1992 East Regiional Final, Duke vs Kentucky

The situation: A wild OT sees Duke down by a point with 2.1 seconds left. That was the moment Grant Hill decided to show what an unbelievable QB he would have been. He throws long to Christian Laettner, stationed at the free throw line. Laettner goes up and catches the ball, takes one dribble, as he shoulder fakes left, then turns to the right and nails the game-winning shot. Hill would go on to say: “Everything was in slow motion, like one of those classic scenes from Hoosiers and The Natural.”

Watch it.

4. 1990 NCAA Tournament, High-Scoring Loyola Marymount

The situation: During the West Coast Conference tournament, Bo Kimble’s best friend and teammate Hank Gathers collapses and dies from a heart condition. The WCC tournament is canceled and Loyola is given the birth to the NCAA’s by virtue of winning the regular season championship. During their run to the Elite Eight, Kimble shoots the first free throw of every game with his left hand in honor of Gathers, who had always struggled with free throws, and once tried to shoot them with his left. Kimble goes four for four and comes away from the tourney with one of the most elegant and touching moments in sports history.

Watch it.

5. 1982 Championship Game, North Carolina vs. Georgetown

The situation: Patrick Ewing vs a bunch of future NBA players, most notable a frosh named Michael Jordan. With 32 secs on the clock, and Georgetown up one, the Tarheels display excellent ball movement and poise. Jordan anchors the action with a sweet 16-footer from the left wing. But the play of the game has to go to Hoya’s Sleepy Floyd. Floyd and his teammates aren’t quite as poised as the Tarheels on their final possession, as Sleepy must’ve been seriously groggy. He turns to pass it to his teammate at the top of the key, and his teammate turns out to be Carolina’s James Worthy.

Watch it.

6. 1987 National Semi-Finals , Indiana vs. Syracuse

It all starts with one of favorite headcases, Cuse’s Derrick Coleman missing a FT. Twenty-seven secs left on the clock. Indiana shows excellent patience. Keith Smart throws the ball into the post, and then quickly makes himself available for the return pass. He jukes his man to the right, takes one dribble and cans the jumper from the left wing to send DC, and Syracuse, home with a head cold.

Watch it

7. NCAA Championship 1994, Duke vs. Arkansas

Meet Scotty Thurman, hero of day…

Watch it

8. 1993 Championship Game, Michigan vs. North Carolina

So the fabest of the Fab Five, Chris Webber travels in the back court, and the refs let it go. But, luckily, the Zebras aren’t entirely blind and call C-Webb for a violation when he calls a timeout several seconds later. Which, oh, by the way, his team doesn’t have! Great move! The Fab Four look at him like “how the f*ck did we ever let you in our club in the first place? Oh well, let’s go to the NBA and make millions.”

Watch it

9. 1990 Sweet Sixteen, Clemson vs U-Conn

It’s no fluke that the Huskies Scott Burrell was drafted by the Seattle Mariners. With the lanky Elden Campbell in his face, Burrell reared back and delivered a strike down court to Tate George. Tate went high grab the pass, came down composed, turned and spun a J to the left for the dagger with one second on the clock. Elden Campbell looking like a deer in the headlights about to get rammed. Final score 71-70.

Watch it

10. 1998 Round 1, Mississippi vs. Valparaiso

2.9 left in the game. Conference player of the year Ansu Sesay misses two free throws with a chance to put the game away. No time-outs left for Valpo, but coach Homer Drew had the secret weapon up his sleeve: his son Bryce. It was essentially a flea-flicker of the football variety, with Bryce on the receiving end. Just watch it. And, oh yeah, note to AI: This is why you practice! 69-67

Watch it

It was “irony of ironies” that Pac-10 rivals Kevin Love and OJ Mayo were traded for one another before either of them played a game in the League. But Timberwolves VP of OPs, Kevin McHale, is going to regret the hell out of his draft day decision to swap picks with the Grizzlies.

OK, sure, Love is certainly the better team player. Better fundamentals, too. And, we hate to keep picking on you K-Love, but you will never, ever sell tickets like OJ Mayo will.

To pass on the greatest scoring machine to come along since LBJ (we’re not talking presidential here, kids), we give McHale the 2008-2009 Golden DUH Award.

Two games into Vegas summer league action and we’re jumping on the Mayo bandwagon. Rudy Gay, move on over, big fella. No one will hold the Mayo down. Combine that with the Griz blowing chunks this year, and we have our lock for the 2009 Rookie of the Year.

Hey, all you Love fans: have no fear. Because your boy is about to win the trophy for MVCP. Most Valuable Chest Passer. And, the last time we checked, no one with moobs has ever brought home anything but the beer and wings.

[the following was originally written for Dime Magazine when Nic Wise was just entering high school.]

Texan native Nic Wise was practically born a Longhorn. Not only did he grow up 2 ½ hours from campus, but his mother and brother received degrees from the school, and his sister is currently in her freshmen year and works in the basketball office. If you figured the only thing needed to convince the point-guard of playing for Texas would be a conversation with T.J. Ford, then you figured wrong. After speaking with Ford, Wise chose the Arizona Wildcats. Did I mention he’s only 15?

That’s right. The only other player to commit to a school earlier was Damon Bailey, who decided on Indiana as an 8th grader.

When the 5’9”, 168-pound Wise publicly decided to play for the Wildcats, he not only became Zona’s earliest pledge ever, but the first player in Texas basketball history to commit to a college as a freshman.

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So, true story: This 5-year-old walks into a gym and immediately gravitates to a ball that lies at center-court. He’s about to pick it up when, out of nowhere, this pack of recruiters dog-pile on it, all wanting to be the first to hand the kid the keys. OK, not entirely true, but trust me when I tell you there’s a reason for the term: Recruiting Wars.

With players leaving college earlier and earlier for the Big Show, programs have to be able to reload their rosters in rapid-fire succession – i.e. If a super-stud comes into your program for year one, you know damn well you’d better have someone waiting in the wings for year two.

“It’s very competitive and cutthroat,” Arizona assistant coach Josh Pastner admits.

Pastner is a big reason why Wise will be attending Zona. The two go back to when Wise was in the 4th grade and played on Pastner’s AAU team. The other reason that the program is attractive to the Wise’s is a certain legend named Lute Olsen.

“I don’t think you could find a better person for your son to be around for four years,” Nic’s father, and soon-to-be high school coach, Greg Wise says.

And he’s pretty serious about the four years part, too.

Nic also seems completely down with the decision: “I feel real good about the prospect of going to Arizona, because Arizona is the best fit for me in their style of play, and I really like the freedom they give their guards.”

Of course a lot can happen in the 2 ½ years before Wise can officially sign a letter of intent (in his junior year), but as long as Coach Olsen, now 68, is in place for the 2006-07 season, the Wise’s say it’s a done deal. And, perhaps to drive the point home, Nic is already on the Cats weight training regimen, and the elder Wise even incorporated some of Zona’s sets into his Hightower High School’s offense.

Speaking of O, Nic’s got it going on. A summer ago, Street and Smith’s No. 1-ranked freshmen dropped 40 as his Houston Hoops team beat Memphis in the 14-and-under bracket of the AAU Championship. After Nic scored the final 5 points in double OT, his AAU coach John Lopez said he’d never seen anything like it.

“There are players that are flashy and can make the right pass, and then there are other players who can take the game over. At his age, I’ve never seen a point guard with better maturity on the floor,” Lopez says.

Jimmy Hicks, of the Recruiter’s Cheat Sheet (a scouting service in Houston), concurs: “Nic cannot be rattled. He’s the elite of the elite, as smooth as cognac. I mean, Louis XIV Cognac, that’s how smooth Nic is.”

Asked to draw another comparison, to current college players, Hicks fires off what sounds like the perfect model: “Nic has the level-headedness of Chris Thomas, a splash of Ford’s passing game, the cool-factor of Dwayne Wade, and the jumper of Kirk Heinrich.”

When asked to assess Nic’s future, Lopez says: “I know I sound like I’m gushing, but Nic will win championships.” And he isn’t talking high school or college, he’s talking the Big Show.

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Right now, the big show is in Arizona, where the Wildcats are the hottest team in town.

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