Substitute in the character of the GRIM REAPER in place of BUFORD T. JUSTICE. And, we all know the Bandit, who just made off with the goods again: his own!

Bandit: Sheriff, uh, Buford T. Justice, please.
Buford T. Justice: Who there?
Bandit: This is Bandit Darville talkin’.
Buford T. Justice: Where are you, you sombitch?
Bandit: Before I tell you where I am, Sheriff, there’s just one thing I wanna say. You must be part coon dog, ’cause I’ve been chased by the best of them, and son, you make ‘em look like they’re all runnin’ in slow motion. I just wanna say that.
Buford T. Justice: Well, thank you, Mr. Bandit. And as the pursuer, may I say you’re the goddamnedest pursuee I’ve ever pursued. Now that the mutual bullshit is over, WHERE ARE YOU, YOU SOMBITCH?

Bandit: Sheriff… do the letters F.O mean anything to you?

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Wait up! Did you try the PRO LEVEL? You can also EMBED (lower right corner!) on your Facebook page or blog…An one last pitch: Make sure to ask the President a question on the Magic Obama Ball — available soon on your Android phone.

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“GO BEFORE HER!”

“DANCE LIKE NO ONE’S WATCHING!”
“CRY LIKE A LITTLE GIRL!”

“VOW TO BE CELIBATE FOREVER!”

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You feeling lucky today, punk? Let’s see you go Jackie Chan or Rocky on this day (because you’re going to need to!)

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Hey, Kelsey, sucks to have a gazillion dollars and no TV show (again), huh?

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You can’t make this shit up!

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“No, dear, just going to rest the gums for a few. I love those guys like they were sisters, man.”

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“You have got to be kidding.”

Sunday, everything is back to normal. Check out the master thespian in his latest miniseries The Prisoner.

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Came out of the play War Horse by the National Theatre of London unable to stifle the tears. War is hell. It savages our true human potential, which is love.

War is a little boy’s game. All these little boys who never got the proper loving from their mommies (mummies?), most likely because mommy didn’t get the proper loving from her daddy. Vicious cycle.

So they run around on the battlefield seeking approval and domination to compensate for a lack of, the only elixir, self-love.

The greatest hurdle facing humans is to understand that, to truly survive, we need to tap the inherent creative cooperation among people. It’s either we start lending a hand to our fellow man, creating together, or we risk perishing alone. And it shouldn’t take a war horse to teach us this lesson.

Note to you politicos: A self-actualized man doesn’t slaughter, kill, maim, for anyone. He has no need to “win the game,” because when he thinks like that, the game is already lost.

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