Horny Men’s Club

Posted by Mr. Guy May - 12 - 2010 - Wednesday ADD COMMENTS

Check out Guy’s new Kindle edition novel. For only 99 cents, trust us, you can’t go wrong.

hmccover21

“Not thirty seconds inside the door and Nicky has got my pants around my ankles and is giving me head while she sings ‘On the Good Ship Lollipop.’ She’s actually f*cking singing.”

Welcome to the world of Zack Brown, heartbroken wanker and lifetime member of the Horny Men’s Club. He’d like to change all that. He’d like to NOT be a heartbroken wanker, and resist his urge to be a leg-humping, “serial f*cker” for the rest of his life because one friggin woman put the vise-grip on his achy-breaky heart.

But this ain’t no country song. This is the Horny Men’s Club, a tale of love and lust (but mainly lust) set against a backdrop of Hollywood Movers & Shakers. Which basically means: posers. Everyone is fair game in this hilarious farce that would make even the girls from Sex in the City blush. Lollipop, anyone?

Author Guy Rapport has been published in over 40 publications including Playboy, ESPN, L.A. Times, Los Angeles Magazine, L.A. Weekly, and several porn magazines Not To Be Named Later.

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Rating: 3.0/5 (2 votes cast)
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Guy of the Week: Burt Reynolds

Posted by Mr. Guy March - 4 - 2010 - Thursday ADD COMMENTS

Substitute in the character of the GRIM REAPER in place of BUFORD T. JUSTICE. And, we all know the Bandit, who just made off with the goods again: his own!

Bandit: Sheriff, uh, Buford T. Justice, please.
Buford T. Justice: Who there?
Bandit: This is Bandit Darville talkin’.
Buford T. Justice: Where are you, you sombitch?
Bandit: Before I tell you where I am, Sheriff, there’s just one thing I wanna say. You must be part coon dog, ’cause I’ve been chased by the best of them, and son, you make ‘em look like they’re all runnin’ in slow motion. I just wanna say that.
Buford T. Justice: Well, thank you, Mr. Bandit. And as the pursuer, may I say you’re the goddamnedest pursuee I’ve ever pursued. Now that the mutual bullshit is over, WHERE ARE YOU, YOU SOMBITCH?

smokeybandit

Bandit: Sheriff… do the letters F.O mean anything to you?

buford_t_justice

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Rating: 3.5/5 (2 votes cast)
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Tiger Woods Whack-a-Ho

Posted by Mr. Guy February - 21 - 2010 - Sunday 2 COMMENTS

Get Adobe Flash player

Wait up! Did you try the PRO LEVEL? You can also EMBED (lower right corner!) on your Facebook page or blog…An one last pitch: Make sure to ask the President a question on the Magic Obama Ball — available soon on your Android phone.

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Rating: 4.6/5 (5 votes cast)
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Tiger Woods Handler Prepares Him For Oprah

Posted by Mr. Guy December - 9 - 2009 - Wednesday ADD COMMENTS

“GO BEFORE HER!”
tigertrainer1
“DANCE LIKE NO ONE’S WATCHING!”
tigeroprahcouch1“CRY LIKE A LITTLE GIRL!”
tigeroprahpose3
“VOW TO BE CELIBATE FOREVER!”
tigerwithpenis

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Rating: 3.7/5 (3 votes cast)
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History of Friday the 13th

Posted by Mr. Guy November - 13 - 2009 - Friday ADD COMMENTS

friday_the_13th_movie_image__3_
You feeling lucky today, punk? Let’s see you go Jackie Chan or Rocky on this day (because you’re going to need to!)

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Another TV Family Bites The Dust

Posted by Mr. Guy November - 13 - 2009 - Friday ADD COMMENTS

kelseygrammar

Hey, Kelsey, sucks to have a gazillion dollars and no TV show (again), huh?

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Movie Review: 2012

Posted by Mr. Guy November - 13 - 2009 - Friday ADD COMMENTS

steaming_turd

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Nicholas Cage Being Stalked By Mime

Posted by Mr. Guy November - 12 - 2009 - Thursday 2 COMMENTS

nickcagemime3

You can’t make this shit up!

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Miss Baez, Please, Are You Breaking Up With the Band?

Posted by Mr. Guy November - 11 - 2009 - Wednesday ADD COMMENTS

steventyler

“No, dear, just going to rest the gums for a few. I love those guys like they were sisters, man.”

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Rating: 5.0/5 (1 vote cast)
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Saturday Is Ian McKellen Not Gay For a Day Day

Posted by Mr. Guy November - 11 - 2009 - Wednesday 1 COMMENT

People Ian McKellan

“You have got to be kidding.”

Sunday, everything is back to normal. Check out the master thespian in his latest miniseries The Prisoner.

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