“Guys only want one thing!”

Posted by Mr. Guy January - 21 - 2010 - Thursday ADD COMMENTS

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It’s been uttered by a gazillion women in a gazillion different languages, “Guys only want one thing!” Here’s my reply to the gazillion women (I wished I had loved before): “Well, yeah!”

This quote from sci-fi writer Cory Doctorow, in the book Free by Chris Anderson, makes me realize guys aren’t a lot different from, well, in this case, (sorry, guys, I know they’re not too macho) dandelions. WTF? Drumroll, please:

“The disposition of each–or even most–of the seeds isn’t the important thing, from a dandelion’s point of view. The important thing is that every spring, every crack in every pavement is filled with dandelions. The dandelion doesn’t want to nurse a single precious copy of itself in hopes that it will leave the nest and carefully navigate its way to the optimum growing environment, there to perpetuate the line. The dandelion just wants to be sure that every single opportunity for reproduction is exploited!”

Trust me, a guy’s instinct is no different, we just put clothes over it and call it human.*

* Ladies, believe it or not, in your own precious way, you’re not part of the problem, you’re part of the solution. Now get with the program! We’ll need to get out and stretch our Inner Dandelion a little more often.

dandelions

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Asshole Coach of Week: Kansas State Frank Martin Hits Player

Posted by Mr. Guy January - 9 - 2010 - Saturday 2 COMMENTS

This was right before Coach Martin took a physical shot at his player. Of course, being the kiss-ass he is, ESPN’s Fran Fraschilla followed Martin’s slight punch with: “Oh, his players really love him.” Doesn’t look like love to me Frannie. Looks a wee bit abusive. And, oh darn, the AHCW lost.

kansasstatecoach
Frank Martin just before he hits his player in loss to Missouri.

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The NEW Gilbert Arenas Fan Club

Posted by Mr. Guy January - 1 - 2010 - Friday 2 COMMENTS

gilbertarenasfanclub

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Where’s Jesse?

Posted by Mr. Guy December - 18 - 2009 - Friday ADD COMMENTS

jackson1
“Well, man, I dunno. I never really had a stalker before.”

jackson2
“Can someone please tell me he’s not still there.”

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NCAA Considers Don’t Ask-Don’t Tell Policy

Posted by Mr. Guy December - 18 - 2009 - Friday ADD COMMENTS

dontaskdonttell
“No one’s watching! Kiss me now!!”

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Fans of the Week

Posted by Mr. Guy December - 17 - 2009 - Thursday ADD COMMENTS

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P.S. Is that old lady choking her chicken?

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Guy’s Top 5 Reasons to Ski

Posted by Mr. Guy December - 16 - 2009 - Wednesday ADD COMMENTS

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1. What better way to cause PBSD? (Permanent Ball Sack Damage) “Look out below!!”

2. It’s you, it’s nature, it’s you in nature. Get to know it before it’s gone.

3. Exorbitant prices! Outta the way, let me at those $15 dollar cheeseburgers!

4. Skiboot Orgasm Removal at end of day.

5. Because snowboarders are still lost in the quad searching for any sign of class.

:)

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The NEW Tiger Woods Charity Foundation

Posted by Mr. Guy December - 12 - 2009 - Saturday ADD COMMENTS

kissingbooth23

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Tiger Woods Handler Prepares Him For Oprah

Posted by Mr. Guy December - 9 - 2009 - Wednesday ADD COMMENTS

“GO BEFORE HER!”
tigertrainer1
“DANCE LIKE NO ONE’S WATCHING!”
tigeroprahcouch1 “CRY LIKE A LITTLE GIRL!”
tigeroprahpose3
“VOW TO BE CELIBATE FOREVER!”
tigerwithpenis

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The Nets Lose Record 18 Straight

Posted by Mr. Guy December - 2 - 2009 - Wednesday ADD COMMENTS

Only one fan awaits them in the locker room.

netslockerroom

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